Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
