just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
