My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
