Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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