The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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