The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
