Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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