Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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