Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
