I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
thus making me awesome and them whores
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
