I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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