I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
