i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
