Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
