Me too!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
