You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
