So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
