Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The adults are the big ones right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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