Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize