SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
