There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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