I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
