you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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