And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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