he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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