If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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