Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
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When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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