this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
