so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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