I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
