no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
