if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
