We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
