State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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