The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
