chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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