sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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