People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
