BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
