You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize