I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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