Quick, to the slutcave!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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