I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
