remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
