if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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