I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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