we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize