I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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