If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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