the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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