He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize