Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
