Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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