I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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