here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
