I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
