NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
