I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
