We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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