Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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