so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
