Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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