have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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