bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
